Friendship

Jesus calls us to be a friend to the friendless. However, many people in today’s society don't know what it means to be a friend at all. Webster's Dictionary defines a friend as..."1. A person whom one knows well and is fond of. 2. An ally, supporter, or sympathizer." Finding someone like this in today’s generation is a hard thing to do. People don't know what it means to be a friend.

Most expect to get without giving anything in return. And your friend may give, but after a while they have nothing left to give you. Let me put it this way, when you are friends with someone, you each have a bank. If you give something or they need something from you, they are making a withdrawal from your bank. When they give you something in return, they withdrawal from their bank and deposit into yours. But, if you are constantly making withdrawals from them, constantly taking in your "friendships", eventually, they will have nothing left for you to take from them. Their bank will be empty. It's like the saying goes "In order to have friends, you must first show yourself friendly." However, I believe this statement can be taken a step further. In order to keep the friends you already have, and show yourself to be a good friend, you must continually prove yourself to be a good friend through your actions.

The Bible tells us that "Greater love hath no one than this: to lay down one's life for ones friends" (John 15:13). This doesn't mean you need to go put yourself in a compromising position where you or your friend must die, and you sacrifice yourself to prove your friendship. What this verse is saying is that if you are a true friend you will make any sacrifice for those you consider to be your friends. You will give, share, and be all that you can be for them. You won't let others define who you are. Your friendship will not be based on circumstances. It's like Webster said, you will be an "...ally, supporter, ...[and] sympathizer" of your friends. If they need you for something, no matter what it is, you'll be there for them, no questions asked.

I've seen too many friendships based solely on one persons giving and the others taking and getting. A friendship of this nature cannot last.

Your friendship should be about what you can give or bring, not what you will get in return. You don't want to be like those referred to in Psalm 109:5, "They repay me evil for good, and hatred for my friendship." You should have a God love for your friends.  You may be asking yourself what this means. The best way to describe it would be for us to look at 1 Corinthians 13:1-8, 13. "And now I will show you the most excellent way. If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I but a resounding gong or a clanging symbol. If I have the gift of prophesy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I posses to the poor and surrender my body to the flames but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But now these three remain, faith hope and love, but the greatest of these is love." A God love for your friends doesn't mean that you always want to be with them, that you want to be in a relationship with them, or that you want to marry them. It means, you want to be there for them as a friend, you are willing to make any sacrifice for them. You care about their salvation, about their feelings, and about how others are treating them.

A true friend is someone you can tell anything and everything to. Someone who cares. A true friend is constantly thinking about what they can bring to the friendship, not what they will get. They are conscious of how their decisions will affect those around them. So now, only one question remains. What kind of friend will you be?